broriarty:

plot twist i never met your mother you were adopted now go to bed

(via dancegabiedance)

4,011 notes

• person: hey wanna hang out
• thoughts: omfg how do i get myself out of this

32,902 notes

buttcamp:

have you ever just listened to a recording of you talking and then felt terrible for anyone who’s ever had to talk to you ever

(via those-are-nightlock-peeta)

21,541 notes

chaystar:

(via ileikcatsalotxd)

210 notes

para-moriarty:

cbbred:

nicoosuxx:

Holy shit, it’s scary how accurate this is.

(via those-are-nightlock-peeta)

51,469 notes

thebestlolz:

Okay listen, I am going to get you to that hospital, or die trying. And if I succeed, I ask only one thing in return… Let me chose your child’s middle name.

(Source: littleodair)

2,142 notes

fakescience:

(via sisususi)

1,053 notes

gaywardvagabond:

when you try to tell someone a joke but you punch up the fuckline

(via thatgirlsyd)

9,198 notes